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How to Edit the POV

fiction 103_ editing the pov

As we continue this editing series how we can develop a great story, I hope you’re able to see that the elements of storytelling hinges on more than concept and characters. By having all the layers in place before actually writing, you can have a clearer idea of where your story is going. Or if you’ve already written your book, how to make sure all the layers are in place so that you give your readers a delightful reading experience.

The third layer in developing a great story is developing your story’s point of view.

Point of view doesn’t stop with characters, but also comes through in inanimate and animate objects like setting and weather. Let’s discuss some possibilities!

How to Edit the Point of View

  • Who has the most at stake in this story?
  • Whose perspective offers the best story in this scene?
  • How will your chosen POV impact your characters, the plot, your readers?

Who has the most at stake in this story?

In storytelling, it’s really all about what’s at stake for the main character. And it’s not what they’re grilling, either. Unless, of course, it’s a camping novel, and then it works.

Which character has the higher stake? The butcher who is forced to sell his butcher shop because his wife is sick, or the daughter who must leave her school to travel with her family so they can get medical help for mother? It depends.

We must ask ourselves the following potential questions:

  • Who is your audience?
  • Which character is speaking to you the most?
  • Which character has the most to learn by the end of the story?
  • What is the takeaway for your readers?

If it seems as if storytelling is comprised of asking lots of questions, you’re right. It is. As writers, we must don our analytical hats and comb every journalist-style question as we map out the story basics.

Whose perspective offers the best story in this scene?

Perspective is everything. It’s the difference between telling the story from Boo Radley’s eyes or from Scout’s eyes; the old man’s eyes in UP or his wife’s eyes; or Turnley Walker’s eyes.

Even if you are not familiar with the characters I just named, you might have noticed that the perspectives are all very different from each other. There’s first person, third person, and second person.

First Person

To Kill a Mockingbird. Harper Lee tells the story from Scout’s perspective in first person. Everything that I experience in this story is as if I were viewing the world from Scout’s vantage point. I get inside Scout’s head and notice everything, feel everything, do everything, and think everything that Scout does. I’m affected by the arguments of the era, the racial disputes, and the events around me.

Writing in first person is a great way to share cultural and social issues with readers because of the depth of voice you can write from. You can also write your story from a first-person heroine and a third-person hero (in separate chapters, of course), if you’d like to switch it up a bit. Additionally, teen readers often relate to stories written in first person, as my friend Kara Swanson has done in her amazing, Pixie sparkling Peter Pan retelling, Dust (July 2020, Enclave Escape, a division of Enclave Publishing).

Second Person

Writing in second person is often discouraged. I’m not quite sure why, other than it can feel a bit clunky on the page. My friend Angela Hunt, author of biblical historicals, says that writing in second person “is the bubble gum flavor of ice cream. It’s delicious, but a bit annoying because you have to work on holding the bubble gum in your mouth while trying to swallow the ice cream and cone” (Unmasking the Mystery of Point of View, Angela Hunt, 14).

But sometimes I think that second person (you) tends to sound narrative in tone, which can be a fun way to tell a story. So if your story feels narrative in nature and your characters aren’t good at telling their own story, you might consider writing in second person. Or if your story has an ultimately unique perspective or subject matter, then maybe telling the story in second person works. Keep in mind, second person also requires the present tense verb. Let’s read an example from a book published in 1950.

Rise Up and Walk by Turnley Walker. It’s the personal story of a man who contracted polio, a crippling flulike virus, and he chose second person voice to tell his story. I think it’s effective because it puts readers in an empathetic mood. Turnley opens the story like this,

“The regulation hospital bed is thirty-four by seventy-four inches. In the beginning that much space is allotted to each polio—the new name you get after Infantile Paralysis slugs you. That thirty-four-by-seventy-four inch area is a place that poliomyelitis allows  you, and even though you have been a much-traveled man in the outside world, you learn to live in it” (Rise Up and Walk, Turnley Walker, 7).

There are a few things I notice about this opening and the second-person viewpoint:

  • The subject matter is interesting
  • The tone is reflective and conversational
  • The tone displays empathy

Now, lest you think second person is a great idea, please think again. It’s not often used, and when it is, it can be difficult to manage because it also requires writing in present tense. Still curious? Go ahead. Give it a try. See how it works for you—and then ask a beta reader or skilled editor to ensure the story’s worthy of second person.

Third Person

Writing in third person is the most-used option for POV for several reasons. It’s easy. It’s fun. And you get to explore the world through multiple characters’ eyes. Besides, most authors write in third person.

Telling the story from the viewpoint of she or he or they or it adds life to a story because it allows readers to experience the story from a bird’s-eye view while also getting inside the head of the main character in the story at the moment.

Nan, in Elizabeth Berg’s The Pull of the Moon, sets off to adventure the world at fifty. As she gets into her car and drives across the country, she explores places, meets people, and discovers herself along the way. And I imagine the author wrote this book from Nan’s perspective, making this book an exceptional insight into the life of one character.

Writing in third person requires using the five senses and the journalist’s five W’s and H, and for the best reading experience, showing readers the world from that character’s POV. This means—what they see, hear, feel, say, think, do—whatever they experience is only told from their eyes. Only. Head hopping is not an option here. It’s more confusing for readers to experience the same scene from two characters or more. (Watch for a future blog post on that topic!)

How will your chosen POV impact your characters, the plot, your readers?

Choosing the correct POV is as important as choosing the correct plot trajectory or characters to act out the story. The correct POV is the mood of the story, the flavor you want readers to taste, the mountain you want them to view.

If you’re writing in a voice that seems “off,” try switching gears and write in another voice. There isn’t a wrong way to write a story, but there is the right viewpoint that tells the best story.

Secret Sauce to the Best Point of View

Elizabeth Berg, author of The Pull of the Moon, says, “I have wanted you to see out of my eyes so many times.”

And let that be true of your manuscript, however you choose to tell your story and whomever to use to tell your story—whether first person, second person, third person, deep point of view … or if you choose to let an animate or inanimate object tell the story, so be it.

Each writer and author benefits from exploring their characters inside and out, while asking “what if?” at every turn when crafting their novel’s plot because it’s really the secret sauce to writing a great story that captivates people, agents, editors, readers, marketers, and the person who wouldn’t necessarily pick up a book and read it.

Your Turn!

Who is your audience, and what do you hope they gain from reading your book?

Which viewpoint do you think is best to tell the story you’re writing, and why?

Drop a comment in the comments, I look forward to hearing what you have to say…

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Three Steps to Editing the Beginning

[This post first appeared on Almost an Author. February 22, 2018.]

Three Steps to Editing the Beginning

With my cursor at Chapter 1 in my WWII historical fiction novel, I hit Ctrl+Enter and sighed. Beginning a book all over again wasn’t what I had in mind. I liked this chapter. I mean, really liked it, even though everyone else said it wasn’t quite right. Forever, why? Why must I abandon these pages and start fresh, like erasing a favorite drawing of a flower but one petal was lopsided.

Two contests, a writing conference, and two agents later, my intuition solidified into a clear direction of where this chapter needed to begin. None of the critics’ comments were overly negative, and most of them enjoyed the few chapters I had submitted. But my first chapter lacked … heart, GPC (goal, problem, care), and solid reasons why things were happening the very moment the story began.

Beginnings

How many of you have revisited this elusive beginning, struggling to create a first chapter that pops! off the page?

I’ve always struggled to write beginnings. I’m sure I’m not the only one—and there are writers who dislike middles and endings, too.

Who are these characters, what is their goal and problem, and why do you want readers to care?

In addition to Goal, Problem, and Care, here are three things I learned about editing the first chapter that helped me introduce the GPC:

  1. Introduce main characters and continuing action early in the first page.Your readers must have a reason to continue to the second and third page and eventually the last page in as few sittings as possible. Maybe your character is afraid to drive over a bridge but must because her boyfriend sent her on a scavenger hunt, or perhaps your character must capture a rattlesnake because his friend dared him. Your first page should pop! with action that includes a huge goal with a problem your main characters must overcome by the book’s end.
  2. Give your characters lively dialogue. You want your readers to laugh and relate with your characters. The old “How are you?” “I’m fine, how are you?” type of dialogue doesn’t work anymore.
  3. Don’t overwrite. Simple is always best. Make Strunk and White proud of you!

Simple writing is sometimes hard for me because I love to describe things; however, too much is not good and hurts your writing and may frustrate your readers. I love reading Anne of Green Gables, but I have a hard time staying engaged with the verbose descriptions; in Ms. Montgomery’s defense, her readers enjoyed lengthy descriptions. Today’s readers want a read they can enjoy quickly.

After taking an honest and humble look at my first chapter based on the judges’ and agents’ comments, I’m glad I started over. I spent a few days pounding out a new first chapter, and it’s stronger because I’ve given my characters a goal to look forward to, a problem that stands in their way, and my readers something to care about.

Now, excuse me while I edit this post to ensure I’ve engaged you, helped you relate, and caused you to want to continue reading it.

Let’s Discuss!

What is your WIP’s first chapter about? Can you describe it in Goal, Problem, and Care?

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Punctuation Series: How to Edit Em Dashes

Punctuation-Series-How-to-Edit-Em-Dashes-tisha-martin-author-editor

Continuing from last month’s instalment on editing the dash. . .

In the world of grammar and punctuation, there are three types of dash (hyphen, en dash, and em dash). “So what?” you say. “Ah,” but I say, “presentation is everything, especially when it comes to the publishing world. And your presentation of such a small thing as a dash is crucial to your book’s success.”

Working with the dash can be tricky, boring, and downright distressing at times. As a writer and an editor, I completely understand your frustration with grammar and punctuation altogether.

You’d rather write, right? Right! So let’s continue our focus on a simple, easy-to-understand punctuation series that I hope will be a help and encouragement to you—allowing you more time to write well.

If you feel like you’re back in grammar school, please take heart—and know that this isn’t going to be a boring, stuffy ‘nother grammar lesson.

It may seem like the dash is not important, but they are, especially if you use a lot of extra information in your prose or poetry. And that’s nearly every piece of writing, so I invite you to stay for this little journey. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but merely to give you a tool to use in your self-editing journey, should you choose to do so.

Why Paying Attention to the Dash Is Important

  • Appearance is everything, appearance is everything, appearance . . . yeah
  • The difference is subtle, like missing the road sign on the highway
  • Using the dash correctly shows you care about your story, your editor, and your readers

In this blog post, let’s look at one of the dashes, the em dash. And my text for today is The Chicago Manual of Style, chapter six.

Using the em dash instead of using commas, parenthesis, and colons (Chicago Manual of Style 6.85).

If you ever hear just the word “dash,” the speaker most likely will be referring to the standard em dash, so please don’t be confused. Em dashes can be used for abrupt insertions of information in a sentence, or important side elements that an author wants the reader to notice something.

Em dashes set off or amplify an element in a sentence, or function in place of parenthesis, comma, or a colon. Please notice examples one, two, and three below, respectively:

  • Parenthesis. Tim Shoemaker’s keynotes at the Write-to-Publish conference in June, 2019, centered on several biblical characters—Nehemiah, King David, and David’s mighty men—and encouraged writers to produce great content that fills readers with hope in a fresh and exciting way.
  • Comma. The encouragement of three people in my life who were an inspiration to me in different stages of my writing journeya journey that, much to my surprise, spanned twenty years, include my mother, my grandfather, and my writing mentor.
  • Colon. Even though I had many people who inspired me to write, it was a novel written by a British author that set my pen on firepure bliss.

*Avoiding confusion. (Chicago 6.85.)

  • Don’t use two sets of em dashes in the same sentence because it causes confusion for your reader, not to mention makes the sentence really clunky. In this case, you would use parenthesis or commas instead.
    (I have bolded the parenthesis and commas, as they add extra, extra information. Notice where the em dash is placed in relation to the other punctuation as well.)
    A few examples:
  • The Write-to-Publish conference—which met for four days in June near Chicago (and is a perfect balance of emerging and skilled writers)—featured in-house publishing editors and excellent subsidy publishers for writers of all levels and genres.
  • The Write-to-Publish conference—which met for four days in June near Chicagoand is a perfect balance of emerging and skilled writers—featured in-house publishing editors and excellent subsidy publishers for writers of all levels and genres.

Use the em dash for sudden breaks or interruptions (Chicago Manual of Style 6.87).

You may use an em dash if your sentence decides to go on a jaunt or a jolt, or entertain an interruption in dialogue or thought. Hey, no worries—that’s okay! Just plug in the em dash and you’re all good.

Here are some examples:

  • My friend jiggled the car keys still in the ignition, the steering wheel, the H-emblemed car horn, the door locks, anything to silence the deafening screech. “I—I can’t seem to deactivate this—this alarm.”
  • A woodpecker rap made me jump. The man shot two fingers in my direction on the other side of the passenger window. “If you don’t stop messing around with that alarm,” he shouted over the blaring sound, “I’m gonna call the cops—I mean it! People are tryin’ to sleep!”

The em dash is used instead of quotation marks

(Chicago Manual of Style 6.80). *This is mainly for European manuscripts. If you have read any international works or are getting your books published with foreign rights, you might have seen the em dash.

Okay, so this is a fun one, and I might add, an interesting rule to keep in mind. I’ll make it as simple as possible for you. 😊 Don’t use any quotation marks or spaces after the em dash. Ask your agent or editor or publisher if this method is still used in today’s books, because. . .

I’ve seen the em dash used in older novels, but haven’t seen them in recent novels. Have you? I’d sure love to know! So—please leave a comment on the blog, telling me where you have seen this rule used.

For example,

  • —Oh Henry, isn’t this a lovely party?
  • —Yes, Louise, and it’s lovelier with you here.

How’s that for a very brief introductory into using the em dash that’s widely used but so often misused?

Pro Tip for Finding the Em Dash

  1. Make sure your cursor is at the place where you want the en dash to be placed.
  2. In Microsoft Word (version 2016), go to the Insert tab.
  3. At the very end of the icon list, you’ll see Symbols.
  4. Click the drop-down menu, and you’ll choose the Symbol option.
  5. Mouse over the symbols, until you find the Em dash.  
  6. Click, and insert into the place where your cursor is located.

Using the well-placed en dash is important because your overall presentation makes a world of difference to your editor, agent, publisher, and readers. That may seem counterintuitive because the writing is equally important, but it’s the presentation that tends to enhance your credibility as a writer. (Especially if you self-publish and are doing your own first-draft editing.)

Next month, we’ll look at the final way to edit the dash in your manuscript, but for now. . . just remember, There may be three types of dash, and one of them is not Dasher.

Please take a minute and join in the discussion! I’d love to hear from you!

Choose between the questions to engage in the conversation:

1. Why do you use em dashes?

2. Have you seen any em dashes in place of quotation marks in dialogue? Which title/author uses them?

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Punctuation Series: How to Edit En Dashes

 

Punctuation-Series-How-to-Edit-En-Dashes-tisha-martin-author-editor

In the world of grammar and punctuation, there are three types of dash (hyphen, en dash, and em dash). “So what?” you say. “Ah,” but I say, “presentation is everything, especially when it comes to the publishing world. And your presentation of such a small thing as a dash is crucial to your book’s success.”

Working with the dash can be tricky, boring, and downright distressing at times. As a writer and an editor, I completely understand your frustration with grammar and punctuation altogether.

You’d rather write, right? Right! So let’s continue our focus on a simple, easy-to-understand punctuation series that I hope will be a help and encouragement to you—allowing you more time to write well.

If you feel like you’re back in grammar school, please take heart—and know that this isn’t going to be a boring, stuffy ‘nother grammar lesson.

It may seem like the dash is not important, but they are, especially if you use a lot of numbers and dates and prose. And that’s nearly every piece of writing, so I invite you to stay for this little journey. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but merely to give you a tool to use in your self-editing journey, should you choose to do so.

Why Paying Attention to the Dash Is Important

  • Appearance is everything, appearance is everything, appearance . . . yeah
  • The difference is subtle, like missing the road sign on the highway
  • Using the dash correctly shows you care about your story, your editor, and your readers

In this blog post, let’s look at one of the dashes, the en dash. And my text for today is The Chicago Manual of Style, chapter six.

Using the dash to mean “to.” (Chicago Manual of Style 6.78)

Many times the dash is a stand-in for “to,” just like “to be” is an understood for a sentence like “We elected Jane [to be] president.” Nonfiction and Bible study / devotional writers, take a look here, as this will apply to you because you use a lot of Scripture verses.

“To” simply means “up through” or “including up through.” And to write all that is really truly wordy. So we use the en dash to simplify. The point? The en dash connects numbers together (words, not as much).

Here are a few examples:

  • Scripture reference. In John 3:15–17 we learn about God’s love for us.
  • Chapters. Let’s continue our study of Lessons from To Kill a Mockingbird. See chapters 3–4.
  • With scores and directions. Congress voted 100–1 on the new bill.

*Two exceptions. As always, there are exceptions.

  • If your sentence uses from before the number or date element, then do not use the en dash. You would say, “from July to November.”
  • If your sentence uses between, do not use an en dash. For example, “The baby sleeps between 1 a.m. and 5 a.m.”

Use the en dash with unfinished number ranges (Chicago Manual of Style 6.79)

If the number range in your sentence is ongoing, then an en dash is appropriate. This would include things like serial publications or the birth date of a living person. No spaces required.

Here are some examples:

  • Scriptmag (especially 2019–) is an excellent magazine for anyone wanting to dig into writing screenplays.
  • Jude’s grandfather (1927–) served in the Korean Conflict.

Use the en dash with compound adjectives (Chicago Manual of Style 6.80)

Okay, so this is a fun one, and I might add, a very important rule to keep in mind. I’ll make it as simple as possible for you. 😊

When the compound adjective has one element that is an open compound or when both elements are hyphenated, then use an en dash in its place.

It might be more helpful if explained this way as an example:

A regular hyphen joins two words (smoke-filled room), but an en dash joins a collection of hyphenated (a multi-published–multi-genre author); see the en dash between “published and multi”).

(Examples to follow so you are not confused.)

  • I write mostly about WWII and the post–WWII era.
    (The distinction here is a proper compound.)
  • We are headed toward Nashville, the music–influenced city of the US.
    (This distinction here is, The city influenced by music.)
  • The singer had an Elvis Presley–style voice.
    (The distinction here is a proper compound.)

How’s that for a very brief introductory into using the en dash?

Pro Tip for Finding the En Dash

  1. Make sure your cursor is at the place where you want the en dash to be placed.
  2. In Microsoft Word (version 2016), go to the Insert tab.
  3. At the very end of the icon list, you’ll see Symbols.
  4. Click the drop-down menu, and you’ll choose the Symbol option.
  5. Mouse over the symbols, until you find the En dash.
  6. Click, and insert into the place where your cursor is located.

Using the well-placed en dash is important because your overall presentation makes a world of difference to your editor, agent, publisher, and readers. That may seem counterintuitive because the writing is equally important, but it’s the presentation that tends to enhance your credibility as a writer. (Especially if you self-publish and are doing your own first-draft editing.)

Next month, we’ll look at some more ways to edit the dash in your manuscript, but for now. . . just remember, There may be three types of dash, and one of them is not Dasher.

appearance cred: first appears as part of a series on Almostanauthor.com, June 22, 2019;
photo cred: canva

Please take a minute and join in the discussion! I’d love to hear from you!

Do you use en dashes? If you haven’t before now, what do you think about using them?

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Editing the Dialogue

Tisha Martin vintage typewriter 1940s WWII reporter desk chair

This blog post first appeared on Almost an Author, June 22, 2018.

Many writers are introverts and don’t prefer to talk a lot. Some writers are extroverts and love to talk. For those, speaking isn’t hard at all and is as natural as brushing our teeth or tying our shoes. Even then, writing natural dialogue is a challenge sometimes. (However, writing dialogue is a topic is for a writing blogger on Almost an Author. This is an Editing blog post!)

If writing dialogue is hard, then perhaps editing dialogue is even harder. Where do you put the comma again? Before or after the dialogue tag? How do you format the quotations? Wait . . . what? I have to make my characters sound realistic without making them sound like they’re dumping information? How on earth do I accomplish that?

So . . . let me help clear the air, the pockets of confusion, the panic that’s probably constricting your chest right now. Below are three general rules for editing your dialogue so that your manuscript is clean, efficient, and your readers will fall in love with your characters. (Bold text has been added for emphasis. This does not mean publishers want you to bold these items. It’s merely there for your ease of reference. Please don’t bold anything in your manuscripts.)

Three Rules for Editing Dialogue

1. Insert double quote marks around the beginning and ending of the spoken portions within your story.

Double quote marks, or curly quotes, look like this:

Freddy, if we don’t get moving, it’s gonna rain on us.

There are double quote marks at the beginning of this dialogue and at the end of this dialogue. If your font has straight quote marks, be sure to keep them consistent. Nothing like inconsistency on something so small as quotation marks that sadly ruin a great reading experience!

2. Place the comma on the inside of the quote mark, before the dialogue tag.

As a contest judge and an editor, I constantly mark this common error in manuscripts (and published books!) I’m reading. Proper comma placement within dialogue looks like this:

“She’s a keeper, all right,” Hercules said, looking across the street.

Did you see the comma between the last word and the ending quote mark? Comma goes between those two elements, especially with a dialogue “tag,” such as said, stated, inferred, etc. Not after. Please.

3. Watch for inconsistent structure in dialogue.

Many times, I see beautiful dialogue, but the structure is wonky. When you have action beats and dialogue beats around a segment of dialogue, it can be tricky to know how to organize it. Try this method:

“I’m about as horse crazy as you are.” Susan winked. “When I was ten, my parents bought me a pony for Christmas.”

Notice the period at the end of the first sentence and then the quote mark. The action beat comes after. Then the dialogue starts up again.

But what if you want to include a dialogue tag instead of an action beat? Try this method instead:

Laurie wasn’t sure how sick she was, but Dad’s tone did make her feel sick. “Why do I have to go to the hospital?” she called, her voice cracking.

Notice the question mark goes inside the quote mark, followed by a lowercased pronoun and a comma after the dialogue tag and the exposition of how the character’s voice sounded. Please do not capitalize the pronoun after the character speaks. You want to keep good form.

Here are a few excellent resources for you in editing your manuscript:

  • Come to Breathe Christian Writer’s Conference, October 12-13, 2018, where I’ll be teaching two workshops on beginning editing and advanced editing. I’d love to see you there! You can register at Breathe Writer’s Conference. It’s in Michigan, and it’s very affordable!
  • Buy Kathy Ide’s book, Proofreading Secrets of Best-selling Authors, link to purchase from Amazon here. Or win a free copy at one of my Breathe sessions!
  • Buy Joyce K. Ellis’s book, Write With Excellence 201: A lighthearted guide to the serious matter of writing well—for Christian authors, editors, and students, link to purchase from Amazon here. Or win a free copy at one of my Breathe sessions!

I hope this helps you in knowing how to edit your dialogue, or at least some of it. I’m creating a session for beginning editors and advanced writers on editing, and they should be available by the end of the year. I’ll include practical advice that’s helpful and encouraging. Always looking for ways to help authors be able to write easier and not be super worried (maybe you’re not) about editing dialogue. Agents, editors, publishers, and readers just prefer a clean manuscript. And you can confidently give them one by learning these quick tricks!

Join in the discussion! I’d love to hear from you!

Take a few minutes and ruminate. What does your dialogue tell about your characters?